


Hole In The Bucket

by danceswithgary



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Domestic, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-21
Updated: 2009-05-21
Packaged: 2017-10-04 01:28:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danceswithgary/pseuds/danceswithgary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You know those lists of what people want to do before they die? Some are more exciting than others.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hole In The Bucket

"I thought you wanted to help, Rodney?"

"All right, here you go. I scanned the page in and here's the translation."

"I know how to put a wall unit together."

"I know you do, John. It's just that maybe this time the doors will hang straight. After the last one, I was willing to concede there might have been an error in the instructions, so I thought that maybe a Swedish to English...."

"Fine, whatever. Hand me that Phillips head skruvmejsel, would you?"

"Yes, sir. Anything else, Colonel? Would you like me to entertain you by juggling a few butcher knives, perhaps?"

"Bork, bork, bork."

~^~^~

"Did you know that if we used a powered paint applicator, we could probably finish the entire house in less than a week - minus prep time, of course?"

"Yep."

"It's also much more efficient. I've calculated how much less paint we'd need based on optimum coverage for this climate. Did you want to see the numbers?"

"Nope."

"With an extension on the sprayer, we wouldn't even need to use a ladder."

"Nope."

"Are you even listening to me or are you too high up to actually hear what I'm saying?"

"Yep."

"I suppose I'll have to help with the painting, otherwise you'll end up crippled by overdoing it just like always. However, I categorically refuse to risk my life by climbing any ladders. Got another brush?"

"Yep."

"Drip on me and you're sleeping on the couch."

"Nope."

~^~^~

"Daffodils here, red tulips, hyacinths.... Hey, Rodney! Didn't we buy any crocuses?"

"I'm coming, I'm, coming. You don't have to yell. Umm...yeah...see they'll go in the lower left quadrant curving to the...."

"That's…you created a bulb placement design in the shape of a fractal?"

"Of course I did. I have it calculated for optimal display next spring based on estimated blooming periods. You don't want bare patches, do you? I originally considered a Julia set, but ultimately decided a Phoenix was more appropriate when you think about how many times we've escaped death, Colonel It's-Just-Another-Scar-Chicks-Dig-Them."

"I was sort of thinking a more natural effect, kind of random. There was this one garden in that magazine…the one with windflowers planted along the edge. They spread every year and eventually there were all these little blue flowers that looked like they were escaping across the lawn with their leafy hands thrown up in the air saying, 'Free! We're free!'"

"Leafy hands."

"Well...I suppose we could...did you try plugging in an Apollonian net? That has circular symmetry that might be kind of interesting, especially if we center it around some flowering bushes."

"Oh God, you're doing that math thing again."

"You started it and now you have to choose. We can stay out here with the bulbs, or we could go back inside. Either way, we'll be on our knees and getting dirty."

"The garden can wait."

~^~^~

"Rodney, forget the damn Jacuzzi for a minute and get over here."

"But it's heart-shaped!"

"Yeah, Jeannie told me they come pretty much standard with the honeymoon suites in Niagara Falls."

"I…it's just…I wasn't expecting it."

"Hey, I can do romantic. Now come over here and check out the view, Dr. McKay-Sheppard."

"John, that's…. You know, there was a time I thought I'd never seen them in person."

"I…uh…I brought this along in case we wanted to watch something later. Still have a thing for Olivia Newton-John?"

"Maybe not so much for Olivia anymore, but definitely for someone named John."

**Author's Note:**

> Spawned by [The Bucket List](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0825232/), which I thought missed the point.


End file.
